Cake for the Blood God: May 2018

We've been keeping Witcher School on our radar for almost two years now and it was definitely an idea worth holding on to. Witcher School is a LARP for adults organized by a Polish agency with a great bunch of writers and some extensive experience in running such shenanigans.
We've waited for months for this year's tickets to appear on the shop and finally after Christmas we managed to get them, for the March run at Moszna castle. There is another run in Grodziec castle in June, but this one fitted our schedules better. People also say it's more comfortable accommodation wise, although it may lack the grim medieval atmosphere of Grodziec.

We arrived on Thursday afternoon, after a long trip by car and a couple of stops in Poland, one of which was in Wroclaw (also closest airport, I think - Moszna is halfway between Katowice and Wroclaw) for the pre-party. The game was supposed to begin sometime later so we stood in line to get our equipment for the weekend. We met a couple of nice people there, also newbies who had no idea what they had gotten themselves into.

So we got our sacks containing our main clothing and stuff. Some of us also brought extra things to look fancy (but mostly to keep warm and be functional). Furs, capes, satchels, gloves, belts, you name it (also warm functional leggings and shirts). It was really exciting to see lots of cool LARP clothing and armor on people, as the first contact with this world it is really impressive.

Shoes were also very important. You're mostly outside, so for some tasks it's good to have sturdy boots. For morning warmup not so much. We began sometime in the evening, everybody gathered outside in torch light. The electricity was also off in the castle (except for the rooms where people decided to have off-game areas - we did) and there were candles lining the hallways. It was surprising how fast we got used to the dim lights. And the cold-ish weather. You always had stuff to do and there was not really much frame of mind to care about such trivial matters as rain or snow or mud or tripping over the damn stairs.

The photo below was taken Sunday night. We hadn't slept much in the past two nights, did a lot of exercise and had been previously tied to a table and sort of beaten to a pulp while trying to stay sane (but more about that later. maybe). I think this moment in the photo we were still at the edge between "fuck this shit, I'm out" and "this is the most fun I've had in a veeery long time". Generally, the experience went from one side to the other for me. You can get super bored or super hyped, a lot of the experience depends on you and your ability to play make believe (roleplay). I thought I would be really good at it and most of the time the whole experience was very immersive for me, but when I got tired and whiny I would switch back to Romanian or get super annoyed with somehow always waiting AND always being late for stuff. But I guess that's what learning a little discipline is like at first, and boy did we learn.

The first evening, after the cool kick-off ceremony, each of us was assigned to a group. They didn't split Cristi and I so we ended up together in a group of 12. Each group had a master to guide them through the learning and adventures and ours was Brass of Tridam, an insufferable bully on the outside but a big hearted hedgehog momma on the inside. Yes, our group decided to name themselves "The Hedgehogs", much to the dismay of Master Vester. Something to do with a song, we learned. We bonded and talked about stuff throughout the night and we also went out looking for danger lurking in the woods. We spent hours in the tavern eavesdropping and listening to people's tales, there's always so much going on and I'm a curious nature so I tried to follow up on all sorts of stories along the way, many of them the individual stories of adepts like Cristi and me, how they got there, what do they dream of, what is it like where they come from. I followed a handful of characters throughout the days and for me, seeing them grow from reluctant newbies and bright-eyed adepts to brave witchers was quite awesome, it made the whole experience more wholesome.

On Friday we woke up half an hour before somebody (I believe Master Brass) came knocking on all doors shouting "Wake the fuck up!" (seriously, I should've recorded that to use it as a ringtone). Morning warmup was cool, it's hard to get moving after being an office rat for years, but I was into kicking ass and for that I needed to pump up the blood. We had classes all day, I still have the paper where I wrote down our schedule. There was Monster Knowledge, Fencing, Signs and Rune Crafting. Then the next day Archery, more Fencing, Survival and Alchemy. Most of the classes were outside, in the castle park and I loved it. I felt like a dog who'd been on a leash and is now free to run and roll in the grass and tackle others and rub against a tree and circle a target and maybe just look at a clear sky and sniff the fucking snow. OK, all that sounds a little bit sad.

So back to classes. Honestly, I'd shot a bow or two before, but this time it felt like the first time for me. Maybe because I'm not very good at it. Cristi is great, though, so I'm totally down with him doing all the paperwork to get a proper bow so we can train more.

I felt brave when we went out to confront monsters. I'm pretty good at that. Being brave and confronting monsters. People not so much, but monsters are great. You see, I think to Geralt it was also easier to deal with monsters - they have weaknesses you can exploit in battle, they are not always good or bad, but there is a code. A code that makes it easier for a witcher to decide what he may or not may not kill. With people, it's a bit more annoying. Kings and knights and ladies have all sorts of whims and secrets. So yeah. Learn your monsters, kids, and keep away from the human ones.

Oh, fencing was one thing I was sure I wouldn't enjoy much but was totally into. Again, Cristi was the good one at it, but I have to acknowledge as a witcher, and one from the School of the Cat, swordsmanship is very important and, well, equally exciting. Another thing I want more of. It wasn't easy, but it was fun. Worth all the pushups (when you hear masters say "there will be consequences" at first you're like "oh, no, pushups". later on you're like "I hope it's just pushups").

But no, I'm not going to write about every single one of our classes. Needless to say, there is a lot to learn and enjoy and there is also a lot to see so I can't just spoil it for other future adepts.

In the evenings, we had trials. We split into groups of six and went on special missions to fight monsters in the woods. We went there with torches and swords and came back with wounds and (if I may brag) praise from the masters accompanying us.

Then in the last night we had trials where we had to get results as a team and individually to an equal extent and some we messed up (I got really angry at some of them) and it wasn't easy. You are roleplaying and try to remind yourself that at all times. But there is a "reptilian" brain that doesn't get that message. The fear is real, the joy is real, the sense of brotherhood is real as well. As real as they feel in the real world. Or, yeah, making you question how much of it is real in the real world as opposed to just another kind of roleplaying. You tell yourself it's a character and you try to stick to it, but sometimes end up playing yourself. But then you leave and yourself is now a bit of your character too.

The finale was epic. It was an emotional roller-coaster for me. We thought it's all done, we're good now, we're witchers, we can pick up our swords, go our separate ways and get contracts. Slay things, get money, get better gear, slay some more monsters. And then some masters are quarreling and there's this speech you can barely understand and you start thinking "oh, fuck, I don't wanna die at the hands of other witchers" and you find yourself running, looking for your people, trying to keep with the pack, but looking for a hiding place, there's yelling and running and fire and cutscene.

All behind this training was a separate fabric of layers and layers of other things happening. There were blue stripes at the castle who wanted stuff from witchers (loyalty, new recruits, maybe some friendship), there were wolves (with all their own backstories and interests) and bears and griffins and even vipers, there were sorcerers and sorceresses, bards and pet monsters and evil monsters. Some people got wounded, some people got enchanted and even one of the best of us got killed. But many others became stronger and braver and wiser and we're baby witchers now so not a minute of it was wasted.

It took us a long time to snap out of it. Weeks. We talked about all the things that happened and we figured stuff out together from bits of information we gathered separately. It was so immersive our trip back home felt surreal, like we were now in a fantasy and the school was actually where we come from. We've been wondering a lot whether we want to go back. On the one hand, there's this feeling it was a one time miracle and maybe we shouldn't ruin it. On the other hand, seeing as lots of people keep going back, I think we might as well. Most likely not the next run, in autumn, but maybe next year.

For now, Amber and Hafgrim have witcher stuff to do back where each of them came from. They're trying their hand at this witchering thing and maybe one day they will get back on the road together for another trip to the School of Cat, to continue their training. It was definitely a good decision to enlist. It was an even better decision to do their best and survive.

Here below are some photos taken during Witcher School by Piotr Müller and Kamil Nowakowski (for the photobooth snapshots). Yes, it's as good as it looks, and at times even better. We were a nice litter of swords wielding hedgehogs and we had lots of fun.